Recently I’ve been dealing with a friend who sort of clutches to his old friends. He complains about them, doesn’t really like them, but still maintains that they are through and through friends. Even though, he never calls them and only sees them at major life events. He talks about calling them, but just never seems to find the time. That’s because, these aren’t really his friends. Out with old and in the with the new as they say.
I get it, she was at your 16th birthday or you came out to him or remember that time you stole your parents car and went on a road trip? Memory lane is a bitch. It makes you think that someone who was previously important to you is still a major part of your life even when that person flew the coop years ago. It’s time for a reality check.
Chances are at this stage of your life you’ve met and befriended a lot of those people. Some were easier to let go than others, but chances are you’re not still friends with everyone you’ve ever shared a moment with. Amiright? The earlier in life you met someone, the harder it is to let them go. Those first 17 years of you life were brutal man: diapers, bruises, training wheels, menstruation, hormones, first kissess? They were there, man. But, they were largely there, because, well, they had to be. You grow up where you grow up.
Now you’re an adult with a personality and some life experience behind you. That person, whoever they were when you were kicking it in JNCO’s riding your skateboards over to the Tower Records is a different person now and *NEWSFLASH* you may no longer be compatible.
The worst part is, you don’t really like this person and the other person knows it. You’re building resentment, which is worse than carrying on a false-friendship. So cut the cord. Stop seeing them once a year and saying you’ll call more often than you do. Just live your life and let them live theirs. Maybe make some new friends while you’re at it…OK?